Back to Square one and even worse :(


Well I'm bummed! I really felt like I was on the mend (I'm almost 4 months PP). Even saw a physical therapist who said my cystocele was maybe a 1. She said everything felt great and I agree - it did feel much stronger, higher, firmer. So what happens? Well my daughter sprains her ankle at the park on mother's day and I have to carry her to the emergency room while pushing my infant stroller. My toddler is 30 lbs. :( I felt capable, strong, etc. but after I got home later than day and felt around, I could tell things were much worse, most particularly I now have a pretty developed rectocele. Unfortunately I felt like I needed to do a bowel movement when we were getting to the park and that's when my daughter fell. Perhaps if I had been able to use the restroom I wouldn't have had the pressure of her and the stool on my back wall. Now there is a pretty squishy part almost all the way down to my opening and even think the lax lissue is at my opening. :( This morning my cystocele felt a little better, not moving as much when I bear down but there is still the lax tissue on the back...not as easy to put my finger in and I had a terrible time having a bowel movement today. Poop was def getting lost. I'm so BUMMED!! Do you think it's possible for things to get better after a setback like this? Like a postpartum heal? I felt like things firmed up better because my milk supply went down for a bit but now my milk is back so breastfeeding hormones are keeping things more fragile.

Of course, Optimistic. Of course it will get better. What a brave and strong woman you are. It never ceases to amaze me what we can do as women when monster effort is needed.

We all have these temporary setbacks, even me! In a day or so I am better again. Your body will take longer because you are only 4 months pp. You have another 16 months or so before you are fully reverted post-pregnancy.

Don't fret. Here's a virtual box of tissues for you. . (((Optimistic)))

Just keep doing things right with your body. Love your baby. Love your toddler (whom I hope is now no doubt running around again like a little champion). Love yourself, and take care. Dont' blame yourself. S*** happens. You will be OK.



Thanks so much for the response. I'm trying to stay positive and hope things will improve - it's just so disheartening that I actually feel the pillow like bulge all along the back wall where it was only a small defect before. Thankfully nothing hanging out but did have difficulty with another bowel movement today. I'm going to pick my juicing back up and kick up my fiber intake. Hopefully will find balance in stool consistency - today had formed but not too hard stools combined with some small round pieces in front so those broken up cause the problems. Really hoping for things to heal. MUST take it easy before I do further damage. Thanks so much for the kind words - I'll try to keep my chin up. :)

Dear Optimistic, reading your comment, I would like to tell you, that 2 and a half year ago, when my rectocele first appeared 5 months after my second delivery, I used my instinct, and I used the posture (without knowing this site at that time) and my symptoms went away. (they now came back because I wasn't careful at all later) I am sure, you will get better, because your vagina is healing now.
You made a comment a few weeks ago, which was astonishing for me: you wanted to gift me the book. It is something I have never experienced in my life. I am so grateful to know that there are women like you. You must be such a warm harted women. My English prevent me from saying what I really would like to express...I could say it more properly in Hungarian :) . I don't know how express that I can't say yes for your offer, because it would't be right to accept such a big gift. I really can't find the exact words to express what I would like to say... So it is very very kind of you, and I am so grateful for your offer, and I hope I will not hurt you but I really can't accept it. I wish I knew you personally. So thank you again.
Do you think we could be "penpal friends" ? Could you send me your email adress, or it is is not possible here?