swollen feeling

Submitted by Ivonush on February 1, 2012 - 9:11am
Body: 

I have had this swollen feeling in my vagina for some time, I think it is also inside my vaginal canal, as I have problems with urinating sometimes...
I had some irritation, itching, but it has been a bit better now...
I am going to see my GP tomorrow, but just I am curious: do other have similar experiences? Doe is go away? Is this related to POP or/and menopause?
Ivonush

Forum:

Surviving60

February 1, 2012 - 9:33am

Can you differentiate this swollen feeling from the normal bulges of prolapse? Not sure what you mean.

Ivonush

February 1, 2012 - 10:12am

It is difficult to describe, it is feeling of fullness...it comes and goes...this one was associated with itchiness, so I thought it was almost like a type of allergic response. It is just strange...
Ivonush

surgeryskipper

February 1, 2012 - 5:44pm

mine came and went ... for a while.... now it is all the time... mine is from a rectocele pushing in to my vaginal wall.... and of course my uro/gyn says i have to have an operation to patch the hernia in my rectum by going thru the vagina... and tacking up my bladder "while we're in there"... if you haven't gotten Christines book-do so before you decide anything... I hope its nothing serious....

Ivonush

February 2, 2012 - 2:53am

I thought it may be a rectocele pushing in my vaginal wall...it happens mostly at night when, I guess the stool gets trapped in a pouch...
I don't think it is anything serious. I cancelled my GP appointment as I don't think they can help...
I was assessed by PT a while ago, and before by gyno and they both said I had only a small rectocele. But recently it seems to be bigger, I don't know why...
Sometimes I am in a type of denial, then when my symptoms are back, I am in a bit of panic again...also feeling that it is "unfair"...
Ivonush

louiseds

February 2, 2012 - 3:45am

Hi Ivonush

You have now been with us for over three months. I think I can see more calmness in your voice. You do post in quite a bit of detail the sensations you feel. I think you have had some improvements in your symptoms. We have read a very detailed account of your progress and setbacks.

Would you please summarise for us how you have used Wholewoman techniques and the progress *you* think you have made with your POP symptoms, and other aspects of your health. What do you think are the important lessons that you have learned?

Louise

Ivonush

February 4, 2012 - 3:53am

Louise,
my POP symptoms have improved (apparently I have only a small rectocele), I don't have any coccyx pain any more, I don't have problems when sitting...I still have many symptoms/bodily signs I don't understand (some strange sensations, like burning, itching, fullness...). And I do bring them here instead of going to the doctors and being treated with meds. I used to completely trust doctors, took all the medication given. I am learning to trust my body, but this is a difficult process...and it has been very helpful to get supported here.
I have become more MINDFUL about my body, more able to observe and stay with the symptom, but still panicking in times...Three months ago I was very much in a panic-pain-symptoms viscous cycle. I am much calmer at present...
But I see these are still early days and I am still learning. There was some time I was quite euphoric, thought that I would heal straight away. Now I am aware it takes time...
Coming here was a very first break through when I have started to be a bit more optimistic. I was devastated, in a constant pain...I still feel like being betrayed by my body in times, but I try to live with it...
I am trying to be mindful about my body posture (when sitting, walking, etc.). I realised that I usually have set backs when I have to do something against the posture, like travelling on a train, carrying suitcases...(I always had more pain on a train and then day or two afterwards)...
I am mindful about not straining in a toilet, but I have not mastered it yet, as it all depends on my BM and I still cannot figure it out what is going on. I eat the same, but my bowels do different things (e.g. I have been constipated recently- the only change I am aware about relates to me being off work, sleeping more and being more relaxed)...The best position for me in a toilet is squatting (I climb on a toilet seat)...
I have been doing Yoga, First Wheel for about 2+ months. I see my body is much stronger and I feel calmer...
I must admit in terms of the anatomy I have problems with understanding it, but this is because of my English, there are many words I just don't understand. So I don't take part in more "advanced" discussions, but I read them...But I WANT TO FOLLOW Christine's programme the best I can...I trust it, even if I don't understand...I wish her book was translated to Polish!
In terms of my diet, I am still experimenting, but- hurrah!- I can eat more variety of food, including fruits. I want to start slowly with diary products, maybe just a cottage cheese...I have put on weight recently, which is good, as I was losing it rapidly last year...
I am also trying to figure out what my body does during the menopausal time- I am still confused...But, again, I hear the stories of women who have gone through it and..."survived"...Listening to them seems to be a part of generational learning, the way I imagine it used to be when women were sharing their experiences openly, talking about the process rather than about "fixing things" using meds or surgery...(I dislike so much when nowadays women share their experiences of having hysterectomy as if they achieved something extra; unfortunately this happens so often; they talk about being on a pill, having hysterectomy, abortion, hrt, etc. as if it was a type of success(!). They rarely talk about being a woman...)
I think the main lesson for me is connecting with my body, trying to feel in my body like at home- I am still learning!
All this has been happening in an emotionally very difficult time for me- a lot is happening in my life in terms of work, family, life generally. The question "where to next?" seems to have no answer at present, I am a bit in a limbo...hopefully I will know soon what is my next step...
So for me getting more relaxed has been a big step...
Ivonush

louiseds

February 4, 2012 - 6:09am

Wow! I didn't realise there had been so many improvements. That is great. I hope your progress continues. It is hard changing a life time of attitudes. I think you are doing well.

Do you have wheels on your suitcase?

Don't beat up on yourself about not straining. You will find out what works best. When there is something really deep and complicated that we are trying to change, all we can do is chip away at the edges bit by bit. We can't get to the centre until the edges have been dealt with. I am sure you will get there in the end. It is all so gradual, and so many factors are at work.

Re anatomy terms, please ask if you don't understand a word. There must be lots of native English speakers who don't understand some words and terms. They will probably be grateful when you speak up. There may be others who can help you understand as well. I have been doing this for so long now that I take it for granted that everyone knows certain terms. If they don't, then it is up to them to say, "Ahem! What are you talking about????" If nobody asks, then I can only assume that readers understand. So don't be shy admitting that you don't understand. If everyone understood it all, there would be no need to come to the Forums. ;-)

Re surgical repairs, yes, it sometimes does sound like it is being treated as an achievement. Actually surviving these procedures is an achievement, and they certainly are a turning point in women's lives, whether for better or worse, so it is not really surprising that they become somewhat central in considering their sexual and reproductive lives! I try not to judge women for decisions that might not have been in their best interests. It is easy to do, and we often don't realise the ramifications of them until it is too late to change the results. We just need to help them to deal with whatever difficulties they are having, in whatever way they can.

Your employment contract has finished, hasn't it? Hope you can find rewarding and worthwhile work soon.

Louise

hockeyMom

February 4, 2012 - 1:31pm

Hi Ivonush. I really liked hearing about the progress you have made. It has made me think of my own journey through POP. One thing I have noticed is my mental change. When POP first happened I, like you, turned to the medical community and wanted it 'fixed', and fixed NOW. It took me awhile to comprehend that there was really nothing that the conventional medical community could offer me. Thank goodness I have a family doctor, who although unable to direct me to this WW work, at least knew enough to steer me away from the ob-gyn community. She told me that all they would offer me was a hysterectomy, which in her opinion was not a solution. I have now come around to an acceptance of what POP is to me: a chronic condition which I must manage throughout my life. It will never be 'fixed', and while there are days when I wish it wasn't so, I think I have come around to accepting that.

Being perimenopausal has thrown in some extra challenges. For awhile my vagina was very swollen, not due to POP but to one month where I must have had some very extreme hormonal imbalance. It took several (3-4) months till the swelling was mostly gone. During that time I also believed that I MUST have a yeast infection as I was so itchy/burny. But no - two tests denied it. My doctor thought it was the hormonal imbalance that caused it. So - with Christine's paper on LS as a guide - using red clover and flax seed and soy in an attempt to minimize the hormonal disruption has helped. I still have some months where I seem to inflame a lot at ovulation but it is not as severe as before. And my night sweats have mostly disappeared or become less obtrusive.

So I just want to encourage you on your journey. In mine I have found that posture, diet, exercise and acceptance have made a world of difference. Since things can and do change all the time, why not believe that it can keep changing for the better? I thank everyone who takes the time to post here, because their stories help me to believe that.

Ivonush

February 5, 2012 - 3:15am

Louise,
my job contract finished last week. As I used to rent a room there I had to move last Saturday. I did not realise the amount of things I had there!
I used to travel every weekend, two hours one way. Yes, I have a suitcase with wheels, but I had two train changes and some platforms are only accessible through stairs...
But this part of my life has finished :)
I don't know what my future holds and I am finding it difficult in times...

I did not realise myself that there were son many improvements. I guess this is because I have some symptoms every day, and I wish so much to be free of them (!)...
I try to find some logic in them but lots seems to happen in some random order, like I never know what my bowels will do; as I said I may eat the same and have a different response.
I definitely panic less, don't rush to see a doctor so quickly...

As to women who had hysterectomy I don't judge them. I am only sad when they talk about it as if it was an achievement, some trying to give me an advice to do the same or get hrt treatment...
I think there is so little awareness about these matters, which makes it easier for doctors to suggest "their treatments"...
Ivonush

Ivonush

February 5, 2012 - 3:40am

HockeyMom, thank you for sharing this, especially what you said about this strange swollen feeling. I don't think it is POP related with me, it comes and goes. As you said it must relate to a hormonal imbalance. It seems it also happens with me around ovulation (or the time I would normally ovulate, but I don't)...Strangely, it is more pronounced when I sleep (when I go to toilet at nigh I have problems with urinating in times)...
I does not help that my life has bee very hectic for some time (over 3 years).

I have problem with accepting my POP, I feel sometimes betrayed by my body and sad that I have to deal with this on top of other problems...
I want to believe that this process could be reverted, but when my symptoms get worse I seem to be losing hope.
Recently the rectocele bulge seems bigger and I don't know why (maybe because I am in a second half of my cycle?).
I was assessed and told that I have only small rectocele, but I have had ongoing discomfort for some time...

As you can see I am up and down...but I do persevere with exercises, with experimenting with my diet and supplements...added red clover and I think it suits me...

Will things be ever the same like before it all occurred?

I still cannot find and answer to question why it happened to me? I never had any problems with constipation, did not really strain...
It all happened after a very long stress...I developed type of "ibsy" symptoms, had a prolonged diarrhoea, then second stage of haemorrhoids, then at some point the coccyx pain...I thought my problem with emptying my bowels related to haemorrhoids...I has MRI scan- nothing there...
Sometimes I think that maybe I caused it myself, as I have started splinting over one year ago, so maybe I overstretched something?

It all would be a bit easier (I think) if my life was more settled. I worry a lot about my future. I used to be a person who had everything pre-planned, organised. I am finding it difficult to deal with the unknown...

Again, thank you very much for sharing, it does help to hear how others manage, it creates more hope...
Ivonush

louiseds

February 5, 2012 - 5:28am

Yes Ivonush, I think you are now understanding that it is not necessarily the best thing to rush off to the doctor first time you have a little panic about your body. This has been a major step for you. Doctors do have some very good uses, but are not necessarily the first line of attack. Well done.

I will also try and remind you in a couple of months to reassess where you are at, compared to now. You have posted about your current position, so it will be there for reference. You might like to put it into a doc on your computer, or as a diary entry, for comparison. It is so useful to do this a few times a year. We don't see our progress from day to day, week to week or month to month. The changes are too subtle, or too up and down to notice the difference, but with longer time periods we really can see the difference when we read those old entries. All you have to do is record it all every couple of months and compare.

I guess having finished your contract is a bittersweet step. I am sure that you will find it easier to find new work now that panic is not your *constant* companion. Here's hoping you can find something a little more commfortable for your next job. Hang in there. Baby steps. One day at a time.

Louise

Ivonush

February 5, 2012 - 5:56am

Thank you Louise. I like the idea of comparing it every so often, do please remind me. I see that- when I compare how I felt when I just joined here- I am in the better place. But, as you said these are small steps and almost unnoticeable, especially that I seem to be having a bit of set back at present (I would be approaching my period now)...When I think on daily basis I see not much progress...
For me the main indicator will be when I will eventually manage to stop splinting- I do not like it...
Ivonush

Ivonush

February 7, 2012 - 10:41am

HockeyMum, you described a vaginal swelling, which you doctor said most likely related to a hormonal imbalance. Do you remember if it even got even worse prior to getting period? Did you also have a bit problem with urinating due to the swelling?
I am just feeling much worse with it today, as if everything was so swollen, a type of fullness down there...
But, hopefully, I will get my period soon...
Ivonush

hockeyMom

February 7, 2012 - 11:35am

I never had any problems urinating when my vaginal tissue was swollen. It did feel really fat and puffy all around my vaginal opening and perineum. I also noticed that my vulva rubbed on my underwear in an annoying way, it just felt like everything was swollen and protruding more. I have never again had an incident as bad as the one month though - usually I just feel a more moderate swelling around ovulation, but it starts to improve a few days before my period comes and is gone once my period is over. I do remember how swollen my vulval area was that one time, and can imagine that it could affect urination.

I hope you feel better soon! Hormones can be hell :-)

Ivonush

February 7, 2012 - 12:10pm

This is how it exactly feels, as if everything was swollen and as if prolapsed even more.
I guess, the only way to check it is to wait (patiently) for my period...if I only could predict as it used to be :(...but since taking red clover it seems to be better...
Ivonush